Femme Fatales - March/April 2003

Anyone who spent the 1980s or early 90s surfing late-night cable will be familiar with the celebrated works of Andy Sidaris, who may be responsible for the entire "Chicks 'n Guns" genre. His films are stuffed with photogenic, voluptuous playmates who pour their hearts into the task of firing automatic weapons while displaying as much cleavage as humanly possible. After years of cable reruns (and there's nothing more disappointing than watching a Sidaris film on the USA Network at 3 a.m. when all the nudity has been cut out), the Sidaris ouvre is making its debut on DVD.

In Malibu Express, Darby Hinton (once the son of Daniel Boone in the 1960s TV series of the same name) plays private detective Cody Abilene, who gets it on with a bevy of 80s-era beauties, including legendary the Sybil Danning, Shelley Taylor Morgan, Lynda Wiesmeier as the provocatively named June Khnockers, and the provocatively-named Busty O'Shea as Doreen Buffington.

Enemy Gold involves a trio of great-looking federal agents (most of them men, unfortunately) vying with nefarious underworld figures for hidden Confederate gold. One of the villains is the astounding Julie Strain, who plays a character named Jewel Panther. That's just gilding the lily, in our opinion.

Watching one of Sidaris' overmuscled studs mounting his big-haired, glamorous heroines, you kind of get the feeling you're peeking in on the breeding of some prize-winning livestock. One final quibble: for action movies that star so many gorgeous women, the Sidaris films feature shockingly little girl-on-girl action - zero lesbian scenes and only the occasional halfhearted catfight. But if you like good, clean, all American, heterosexual glamazon fun, these films are your ticket to late-night bliss. -J.B.

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