SUMMER REVIEWS
By Dan Cziraky
DO OR DIE: DIRECTOR'S
CUT SPECIAL EDITION (1991) ***½
D: Andy Sidaris. Erik
Estrada, Dona Speir, Pat Morita, Roberta Vasquez, Bruce Penhall, Cynthia Brimhall,
William Bumiller, Michael Shane, Ava Cadell, Carolyn Liu, Stephanie Schick.
97 mins. + extras.
The sixth in Andy Sidaris' series of Playboy Playmate/CIA agent extravaganzas
is probably one of the most entertaining, although the story actually makes
more sense than usual--which robs it of some of its camp value. (Part of the
fun of watching Sidaris' movies is trying to make sense of his unnecessarily
convoluted plots, which he gleefully admits to cranking out in longhand on
legal pads in "about four days.") Asian crime boss Kane (Morita--so that's
what happened to Arnold after he left Happy Days!) sics six teams of
assassins on CIA bikini-stuffers Donna Hamilton (Speir) and Nicole Justin
(Vasquez), which basically sets in motion Sidaris' take on The Most Dangerous
Game, except we've got Erik Estrada (as a Navy officer recruited into
the Agency) and lots of nudity thrown into the mix. It's all utterly silly,
but so funny and done with so much zest that you can't help but get a big
kick out of it. In many ways, Do or Die is actually better than the
James Bond films of the same period (ugh! Timothy Dalton!). Morita is very
effective as the villainous Kane, the first (and, unfortunately, the last)
time he ever played a screen heavy. Schick went on to "bigger" fame by changing
her name to Pandora Peaks and appearing in Striptease (1996) with Demi
Moore, but here she portrays new agent Atlanta Lee. Michael Shane is introduced
as the latest Abilene cousin, Shane, a clueless good ol' boy who, like the
rest of his kinsmen, can't quite seem to correctly aim the huge gun he packs.
Estrada is a hero and love interest for series star Speir--in the previous
entry, Guns, he played villain Juan Diego! As with all the series'
DVD releases, we are treated to a boatload of extras: introduction by Andy
and B-movie star Julie Strain (who toplined in all of Andy's later films in
the series); freewheeling audio commentary by Andy and wife/series producer
Arlene (during which Andy claims that the entire story is "loosely based"
on true events!); still photo gallery; Andy Sidaris Film School Action & Sexy
segments; trailers for all 12 films in the series; location shooting segments
from Hard Hunted (1992); and, an interview with Andy and Arlene by
noted drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs. Overall, lots of fun for fans
of Sidaris' "bullets, bombs, and babes" series.
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HARD HUNTED: DIRECTOR'S
CUT SPECIAL EDITION (1992) ***
D: Andy Sidaris. Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez, R.J. Moore, Rodrigo Obregon,
Bruce Penhall, Cynthia Brimhall, Tony Peck, Ava Cadell, Al Leong, Michael
Shane, Carolyn Liu, Richard Cansino, Chu Chu Malave, Mika Quintard, Buzzy
Kerbox, Becky Mullen. 93 mins. + extras
Hard Hunted is the seventh in Sidaris' series of gorgeous gals-as-secret
agents films, which by this point were being cranked out on a yearly basis.
For some reason known only to writer/director Andy, Roger Moore's son Gregory
(billed here as R.J. Moore for yet another unknown reason) plays Kane, the
Asian crime lord portrayed by Pat Morita in the previous entry. Evil criminal
mastermind Kane has stolen a nuclear trigger, an act of terrorism so despicable
that it requires multiple, enormous-chested female federal agents to get naked
as often as possible in an attempt to restore the balance of power! Okay,
the plot is negligible, as the gunplay, explosions and softcore sex supply
the series' proven elements, and on those Andy delivers big-time. Also along
for the fun is Gregory Peck's son, Tony, as CIA field director Lucas, while
Cansino and Malave play a pair of transvestite hitmen that you won't even
believe after you've seen them! As always, the DVD is packed with extras:
introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; commentary by Andy and Arlene; stills
gallery; Andy Sidaris Film School Action & Sexy segments; more location shooting
from Hard Hunted; interview with Andy by Joe Bob Briggs about Hard
Hunted; and a Julie K. Smith featurette shot by Julie Strain. Again, a
nice showcasing of this series, which has been gaining in popularity over
the years both for its campiness and for its genuine spy-genre appeal.
For more information,
please visit http://www.videoscopemag.com/
.
